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ThinkGeek’s USB Portal Sentry Turret Will Protect Your Desk, Cake

ThinkGeek’s USB Portal Sentry Turret Will Protect Your Desk, Cake

Chell is standing at the edge of an bottomless pit. She sighs deeply and stares longingly across the void to the immense energy shield. She hoped there was an exit over there.

Exit is just a funny term, she thought. Though an exit using this room, the door is also an entrance to another puzzle room.

Remembering the warning posters a couple of steps right back, she recalled that falling in to this pit means game over. Death. She doesn’t want death. Perhaps not yet. She was promised cake. With cake, comes the meeting of the facility’s creator. Then she’d find death.

But first she’s to get over this pit. There’s a platform hovering about 20 feet out. She can’t jump that far even when she hadn’t injured her leg two rooms right back. But it’s easy enough.

With a quick burst of her gun, she makes two portals and falls rather hard onto the platform. Her leg hurts much more now. Fan-fucking-tastic, she thought rubbing her calf. With two more bursts of her gun, including one fired at the bottom of the pit to get the best momentum, she soars over the huge energy shield.