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Get A Hook-Up Buddy For Your Holiday Break

So the first official break of college is just around the corner, Thanksgiving.

It’s a time where families reunite and sit around the table thanking the good Lord for all they have been blessed with in their lives. Precious.

However to us young adults its a time where we gather with our high school friends and thank the good Lord for alcohol and the opposite sex.

Because God knows we use those two things in life more than anything. So the alcohol is pretty easy to get your hands on during break, but its finding the person we are going to put our hands on thats the challenge.

Here are a few tips to finding someone who can be the Sexy Pilgrim to your Naughty Native American.

-Make a list of all the best hook-ups you’ve had with someone from back home. Make sure to choose someone good because now that you’re in college your sex skills have hopefully progressed and you want someone thats up to par.

-Stalk their lives for the past few months on Facebook. Check ‘em out, have they gotten fat, or unfortunately for them got sucked into a relationship?…Important details people! No one wants to hook-up with the once hot lax bro in high school who is now sporting a huge beer gut with some skanky girlfriend back at school. Do you’re homework.

-So after your research is complete its time to make contact with that person. Start a casual conversation via Facebook or just jump the gun and give them a text. Start off slow at first; asking how they’re doing, all that starter convo bullshit that’s the polite thing to do.

-After you’ve passed the initial “how are you” convo, bring up how you can’t believe how soon break is and how you can’t wait to see everyone. This will be your segway into the most important question of the conversation, the hooker: “We should hang out .” This is the question, “We should hook-up.” in disguise.

-If you get a response such as: “Yeah deff!”, or “Yeah sounds good to me!.” Congratulations you’re in. Any other response that seems unenthusiastic or if you’re just straight up denied, well then I’m sorry you can either try convincing this person or just plain and simple go back to that past hook-up list you made and find a new target.

-If you’ve hooked your potential booty call for the break don’t just end all communication there. That would be rude. Continue small talk with this person often during the weeks up until the break. Make sure they stay interested so they don’t forget about you.

-If all goes well you will be set for your Thanksgiving break with someone more than willing to hook-up with you.

Don’t forget while you’re sitting around that table with your family to also thank God for putting your hook-up buddy on this Earth as an object for your sexual entertainment.